22 years young last week!

Last week 1st Feb was my 22nd birthday. Nothing much but just lovely wishes from alot of friends. I didn't expected to be wish by so so many people. Thanks! Official birthday celebration will be tomorrow. I have no idea on whats gonna be. Where or what's gonna happen. I only know that I GOT AN IPHONE!!!! Woohoo... Honey bought it for me. Thanks Love ya!

Busy weekend this week, footballs on both days. My 2nd pre season game for Ottawa Serpents FC tomrrow hope I get a good game. Sunday for Matador FC in the ESPZEN league. The team's been on real hot form winning all game after the christmas break. Hope we can continue our winning ways.

Lastly i'm counting down the days i'll be donning the police uniform again! Yahoo...

Saturday day day day !

First weekend of 2010! So far been so good this beginning of the year for me and perhaps the closest people around me I suppose. Wish everyone had else their good new year too.

Firstly I wanna say that i've got into the VSC. Starting my orientation and oath taking in February. CoOl or what! Unexpected but THANK GOD so much!

Well now i'm at honey's home celebrating her birthday together with Andy and my ex-colleague Hamidah. Just the four of us. Her parents not in town. Their in Thailand for holiday. We are now watching PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2 on DVD which I bought in Indonesia. Yeah thats right its part 2! Scary though. Just got abit dizzy when the camera move too much when there's some paranormal incident happening. I think the show is ending soon. We're still waiting for our pizzas from Sarpino. Wanted to get Oishi's pizza but the last order was 7.15pm. When we made the call was at 7.44pm too late.

We still have our cake from Gastronomia, Banana Toffee Crostata. Hmmm... Yummy! The night is still young and we're have some chill enjoyment. Not the havoc one this time once in a while. Sadly for me no alcohol. Hah!

I'm feeling kinda bad because I wasn't attentive when a Manager of National Football League Division 3's, Ottawa Serpents FC to come in today's match at 5pm. Got a call from him few days ago, I thought was next week. Hope he calls me again. I don't know when are the S-League trials but whichever team wants me or I got into first I just go for it.

After 3 weeks of football break. Tomorrow's the big cup game, ESPZEN's FA Cup. Hope I can keep up my form and go on a great start through the season. After my match i'm going to watch Boxing at Suntec City Convention Hall in the Sijori Tournament. Nice. That's it for this time now. I going to upload some videos of my time in Batam later in the late.

Wait for updates! Adious!

Jimmy "THE REV" Sullivan A7X

THE REV
RIP 1981-2009

Its beyond depressing to hear about his death. The one of the best drummers in the world was found dead in his home. Thank god that I got to see him in person in their last tour in Singapore. He's just awesome to watch. I still can't bring myself to believe that he's gone. Rest in Peace Rev! The video below is a tribute to the LEGEND.

Symptoms of Unsure

I measure myself by achievements
what I've got,what I wanna have
what others have that I don't
and why is it a must not to be cloned
why originality is key to death

I measure myself by failures
what I've lost,who have I hurt
how did I hurt them
conquests that weren't conquered
tears that weren't flowing

I measure myself by joy
how much fun am I having
how much lost have I become
the biggest orgasm I've ever had
street sluts screaming my name

I measure myself by sadness
how much empathy I feel
how much grief I wanna taste
how blackness is my new white
how crying is my new laugh

I measure myself by looking at you
by watching you walk,talk and screw
how you eat,how you bleed
when I stab the knife
deep in your heart

I measure measurements
by having thoughts
of naked old granny roaming
lonely and cold,ugly and old
it gives me a hard on

I measure gay love
by making out with a lesbian
by being so straight that it hurts
every time they try to penetrate
deep in me,deep in my gaping hole

I measure good stories
by the first page and last
editors note and critics view
the most important
is how much it's gonna cost me

I measure the sky
by looking at the sea
how far out can it be
before my last breath
takes me away

I feel so unsure of things I do
of creating fictionalized characters
like Sarah and baby Hue
like Lady Nana,the lovely dame
my life has always been a game

I measure good music
by how bad the crooner is
how I can only hear the guitars

while the beat on the drums
sounds like splattering paint
This symptoms of unsure
has kept me going till I saw light
switched on,switched off
flickering,dimming
it kept me going till I become sane

I am unsure,I am unsure
I am surely pure
from the inside out
I am unsure if I've god
I am unsure of my own doubt.

There's not much I could say

to make you know that every single day

I pray for us to be in hands

to set alight this greatest dance,

you came into and deliver me now

I'm always yours from past to present.

We're twins separated by years

we're lovers separated by hate

we're one separated by fate

we're together and I hope it stays.

Back...

I just start straight to proper post. Long enough i'm gone. My plans of creating my own domain just screwed up. Nevertheless, I just continue from here until I really have a new one to declare.

Learn Something New and Make it Work

Hello people! Being some time since I updated. Nothing much just that I have a new business project coming up. I'll be in partnership with my Honey, we're still learning about the whole idea and system that we're going to create.

Will be meeting with a mentor in this line tomorrow evening after my work to see what he have to share. Looking forward to it and sure to learn something I may not know about.

Hari Raya's coming and been to Geylang almost everyday to grab some great food. Also help honey to look out for new baju kurung, shoes and bag for the year.

This post might be the shortest. In truth, I was just plain lazy and Blogger has been giving me problems most of the times. Having so much to post but I just can't. FYI everyone I might be moving elsewhere soon. No more Blogger perhaps, probably, possibly, maybe! Not yet for now but soon so I can update more and for ya'll to read yea!

Adios!

Excited, Sad, Happy and Thank YOU!

I think this might be the longest post ever by me. Nevertheless, i'll try my very best to make it interesting to read and learn something from this post.

I've not update my blog for a week I guess? yea. Whatever it is hope my readers will enjoy and look forward to my posts. I'll write some compliments for you readers at the end of this post yea. Okay! I'll start my post proper.....

Exams are around the corner and I haven't really got any idea where to start off for my revisions. My Dreamweaver project almost done and ready for submission anytime now. Just that I ain't convince with the overall product. Hah!

Lifestyle wise i'm still in great shape. My daily diet has been incredibly monsterous! I can finish 2 regular 9 inch pizza alone! You might think i'm going crazy! yea yea I know. What worst is I grow hungry in less than an hour. My goodness! But I can still control my diet and i'm not at all worried as i'm a sportsman. Still active in football every week, gym and swimming sessions occasionally.

I don't focus only on my body but my brain too. They need exercise so i've been reading books relating to my goals. So many things to learn and going to put them into action soon. Will have a meeting with Madi, one of my team mate on Sunday evening. He'll be discussing on a "multi level marketing" project and he wants to take me in after he found out about my "Financial Freedom" dream. I'm feeling real great after getting to know someone with the same interest, vision, read the same books, done alot of researches and so on.

I'm looking forward for the discussion in the weekend and see what have to share. At the same time i'll take it as a stepping stone and a test to make what i've learn into action. I won't say anything is easy, there'll definitely be ups and downs but i'm willing to explore and overcome it. I've learned not to believe "easy money" mindset. Here's below what i'm currently reading and learning:

Thomas Fernandez & Sant Qiu
Singapore's Most Successful Entrepreneurs

I can go on and on about what i've learn about business so far. I can really tell you now that I really hate working for someone. Having my time controlled by others. Work hard and being paid less. Working for a superior who knows nothing about welfares on his/her staffs. I basically had enough already.

Had an arguement with a colleague or so to say my superior few days ago. He was like telling me "School, Reservist, School, Reservist than come work late" and I got pissed off by his remarks. First I told him that I have school projects to do and I questioned him "What's your highest qualification? Or have u even ever went to school?". He gave me a cheeky smile and showing as though I was telling him a lame joke. Before I even cool down he spotted me wearing slippers to work. I know it ain't appropriate but I don't always wear them and I even gave him the perfect excuse but he insist I take them off and walk bare-footed around the office. I expected him to be no-big-deal-dont-do-it-again and let me off but of course he didn't. I admit my bad for being so furious to have spouted some aint nice language to him in front of my other colleagues.

I gave in but soon after I was called up from my Duty Manager for an explanation. Then bla..bla..bla..bla I wasn't dismiss anyways. He told me he understands but I was wrong to have shouted vulgarities. I just gave him Who-give-a-damn look! Grrr...

Working schedules now are becoming ridiculous. I'm only a part time employee but they keep insisting to managing my working schedules following their own needs. Ridiculous! I was employed after I gave my available working day and time, now their giving us this bullshit. No way! The more they insist, the more i'll give them a heck! Hah! $4/- per hour already called cheap labour and I believe they can't differentiate between "part time" and "full time". For god sake! Let me explain in bold and in the simplest of terms:

'Part Time' is not fully committed to the cause more so because of time. Have time will do.

'Full Time' is to fully commit yourself and time no matter what the situation is.

difference between part and full is that,part time you get paid when you do the work. full time you get paid whether you do the job or not,only downside is you have no time....

See? So much difference?

This company in this particular department is really not organise at all. So many things they're not doing it right. Can someone show them the correct way? Where's the employees welfare benefits? Even McDonalds and Starbucks look after their employees you know! Absurd!

I'm leaving the job soon anyways. I couldn't care less anymore. Good Bye soon damn it!

On a happier note as usual I spent quality time after school with honey. Done my school work together with her few days ago. So far been so so good. Not all the time sweet. Had some arguements too. Thats common. Our relationship is growing stronger each and every day together. Still more to explore in each other.

Went to Geylang Bazaar with some colleagues earlier had fun enjoyed some great food. Experience some funny but a little unpleasant incident I don't want to mention as Honey is still a little mad about. Nothing serious just some remarks by an insecured stranger whose son is totally almost non human for anyone to even take a look at.

As I promised earlier, I wanna thank my readers whoever you are for taking time to read my post. I really appreciate so much. Whether I know you or not I still wanna say a big thank you. Don't be shy to type a text or two on my tagboard. Once again THANK YOU! heh!

Precious...

The 2nd post of the day:

PRECIOUS MOMENTS

TOGETHER

My life in Apostrophes

Have you ever made a decision
and then stalled,thought about it again
deciding that it might not be a good idea
or it just won't work,cause you're afraid?

Afraid of being judge,being categorized
stereotyped and put in a box
and be shipped somewhere cold
where you won't know who your master
might be,and what kind of slave you'll be?

That is life in apostrophe,in making a decision
stalled,think again,continue and stalled again
you won't be able to see the end product
the consequences of your decision
because you did not carry it out.

My life in apostrophe has led me
to places that not many will go
nor will try yet I did,I did out of thirst
thirst for something new,something raw,something exciting
some new experiments that would strangle me

It made me suffer to breath,painfully trying to find joy
my orgasm,my burst,my ejaculation of self belief
I learn to adore people with flaws,warts and sexual diseases
it was enthralling after the journey but would I go back again?
I don't know. I shall let the dice decide.

In searching for a full stop I became delusion
with my reality,my environment change drastically
every new thought that crept into my mind
a new scene is created. I seldom hate it for the thirst
was unbearable. I want to indulge in it!

It made me wiser in the company of fools
but despicable in the arms of the noble,
it was such an enigma to go through but nothing
was stopping me. My conscience decided to go for a walk
at the most precise time I need it. My do-gooder nature was on sick leave
so who do I trust my decisions on? My guts.

My guts,a very lonesome but attractive creature who
never fails to bring me to my knees and laughing
away at my soft,unknowing self,who can never be
sure of what to do unless was told.
My guts were there to squish my every possible
repentant feeling that I would have.

The journeys itself was very tiring,draining me
out of my love juice,my sweat,my balls were always lighter.
That was how it grabbed my soul and twist me dry,
it did broaden my view but it did so by having my eyes squinting.
But don't get me wrong,I enjoyed those moments even if it kills me.

Stupidous Mistake...

How I wish all was just a nightmare for me. Just plain dream from my sleep. I can't believe myself it happened. It wasn't me. I wasn't thinking straight. I wasn't myself. I can't believe it's me in the act of stupidity. I did it for the right reasons but in the wrong way.

I admitted my mistakes. I faced it instead of hiding or keeping my mouth shut. But I still cannot believe I did those mistake which almost seems to costly. I never done it before or even thought of it until 2 nights ago. I'm not a criminal. I dream to eliminate criminals as my career. But instead I acted criminal.

What the heck was I thinking? How do I even have the cheek and courage to perform those actions? What is happening to me? Am I unwell? Am I crazy? Where did the thoughts came from? What got into me?

Everything may be over. All may have been solved. I have regretted my actions deeply. But I have not recover from my guilt. I hurt myself deeply by my own despicable actions. I still CANNOT believe it was actually me! Myself! Alone! All by myself!!!

I'm traumatised! I'm going into depression I think. I'm paranoid. All this happens myself! Muhammad Iskandar Shah i'm so not proud of you. I'm hating you. What have you done? Why do anyone deserve the shit from you?

I have to put up a fake smile and laugh while forgetting the incident. I fell again this time. I want to stand back up and make myself proud again. I will never ever do those shits again. I will never even dare to think about it again.

You know the consequences yourself. Don't crush your own dreams into dust.

To myself,
Muhammad Iskandar Shah
You Sucks SO MUCH This Time!!!!

I will get "that" in my wallet again soon!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!

I'm late I know! But I was busy entertaining my other fellow hungry singaporeans on the phone taking their orders with "pride" and "dedication"! *puke!*

Yea..I'm done wishing. Last night an inpromptu meetup with Fizah at Tampines with honey. She rented a car and we got a ride to one of honey's favourite "parata" stall. That was how they spelt as their shop name.

I borrowed the car and drove the two ladies around Tampines to Pasir Ris. Now something inside me is screaming "I WANT MY DRIVING LICENCE BACK!!!!" I'm a better driver now and i'm going to get it soon.

Hey I guess I can only blog this post till here tonight. I'm sleepy and really need to go to bed. Update again... zzzZZZZZ

Nazilla

Inside of me there is a place where my sweetest dreams reside, where my highest hopes are kept alive, where my deepest feelings are felt and where my favorite memories are safe and warm. I find that you're on my mind more often than any other thought. Sometimes I bring you there purposely just to make my day brighter. But more often, you surprise me and find your own ways into my thoughts. There are even times when I awaken, I realize that you've been a part of my dreams. Then during the day, when my imagination is free to run, it takes me into your arms and allows me to linger there knowing there's nothing I'd rather do. I know my thoughts are only reflecting the loving hopes of my heart because whenever they wander, they always take me to you.

Only the most special things in my world get to come inside my heart and stay. And now, I realize how deeply my life has been touched by you. I would walk a thousand miles to see you for one minute and have not one question about it. Crazy u might say, but i guess i'm just being me. But for now, probably what's more important is to be contented with what I have is to be by your side for as long as I could.

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I'm younger again!

I wanna share with everyone what i'm happy about. Honey, I know you're rolling your eyes now upon reading this post, I know! I know! hah!

When I first I started work at CSC, some asked how old am I and I made them to guess. They laughed and thought I was joking. I convinced them by showing my ID for some.

I asked how old do I look and they say I looked 17-19 year old. Hah! Happy! Happy!

Went to bought some ciggies last night and the shop owner asked for my ID to check whether i'm legal to buy. After showing him, he smiled and told that I looked 17! hah! My GF walked away and refusing to admit hearing what he had said to me.

I smiled my way back home and recalling all the little moments I had. The feeling so great. Don't blame me for being this way at the moment. haha!

SHIT

Why am I feeling this way?

Why am I doing this?

What was I thinking?

I feel so wrong...

so guilty...

so bad...

sucks!

I admit my bad...

*keep cruising till I go to sleep, start a new day, don't make the same mistake*



Done reflections for the day:
ShahV

Little Precious Moments

She came down to Woodlands to see me after her school. Hang around at Causeway Point, Woodlands. Look, Look, See, See nothing much. Had dinner at Banquet before heading down to Tampines.

We spent precious little time together before sending her back home. Some random pictures we both took:

Totally Unacceptable Sportmen

WHITE WOLFTON FOOTBALL CLUB

Yesterday was supposed to be the almost perfect weather of enjoying a wonderful game of football on a high maintenance pitch in Marsiling Secondary, Woodlands. All turned ugly for great weekend fun by an opponent of team hooligans namely as above. Reasons why I posted all this because I have to. I'm pissed and hopefully anyone who read this will not do the same as what they have done. Don't destroy the beautiful game.

The aforementioned team is an all malay group of youngsters claiming to be playing the beautiful game beautifully. Instead they created an unpleasant drama on the pitch as they unable to control their uncivilised behaviour even after the final whistle was blown. One of my team mate suffered a punch at the back of his head by a left winger named Mr Farouk, the opponent after the 1st goal when we were leading. Things get a little messy and referee was busy calming the rest of the other players, did not see the incident that happened.

Cowardly the player turned away and pretended that nothing happened. A return punch was expected by my team mate but it didnt happen instead maturely gave a smile back to him refusing to comment further and just walked away.

Minutes passed on the clock following with series of controversies flowing around the pitch but we walked away without retaliating on every nasty occasions we faced. Game of football is aggressive and we all accept it nevertheless whether we win or lose the game in the end.

On a lighter note, I would compliment them on their determination and the desire to win but shit on them for turning it ugly and unenjoyable afternoon for all.

Regardless of what they did I still gave them a hand shake after the game even what has happened earlier. Outta sudden my ears were burning and hurting inside when one of them said to me: "We're of the same race and we won't touch you but respect you(ME). For the caucasians we'll hit them hard." in malay and I was like giving him the "doifuckinggiveadamn" look right at his face with a slight grin full of sacarsm blasting at him. Surprisingly he looked away and did nothing. Damn it! Thanks for that but i'm so not proud of it. Embarrassing!

Before I end this post I would want to say we ain't losers like how you shouted at my other team mates. Although we lost the game and we lost gracefully by accepting what you all did without retaliating in return. All the best, we'll see how far you'll go. God Bless...

In SCHOOOOOOOL!!!!!!

I'm super sleepy and cranky. I'm getting sick and tired of the MATS2 in my school. They're super nonsense in so many way. The way they walk, they talk and overall the way they behave. Some come to school dressed as if they're heading to Orchard Rd. What a joke!

How I wish i'm not working today, wanna do my unfinish labsheets. Grrr...so many things to do.

Missing Malolo so much I don't know why. She's so addictive! hah!
Done blogging for now hah!

Message to all the MATS in my school and all around Singapore is GROW UP AND BEHAVE LIKE AN ADULT. This for you below coz i'm cranky and your pissing me off.

East Coast Park

I was supposed to pick Malolo up from her workplace at 4pm but I was late. Heh! I reached Toa Payoh at 5pm met her with Farah at the bus terminal instead.

We head straight to Marine Parade sending Farah home. She was so eager to catch The Reds live on TV.

Waited for Ahmad and Ally at Parkway's McDonald for lunch before heading to ECP. We took pur time and the sky was already dark when we arrived. Look for a place to sit. We chilled and chatted showing them a simple magic trick. Blah!

Had dinner at Blue Lagoon. Ally with her crazy antics. We just cant stop laughing with her jokes and her sillyness. The outing was a short one but it was fun nevertheless.

Good Night!